Hey Red! Mommy S.O.S.
My clients (family/friends/strangers) always ask for my advice and recommendations on much more than just organizing. And the way I’ve seen it, if one has a question, I’m sure many do. Here’s where I’ll share these tips and answers with you!
Hey Red! Mommy S.O.S.
Question: (From a client with a 1 1/2 year old) All of my other girlfriends with children seem to have it so together and I can't keep up on top of things. Am I the only mom with this problem?
Answer: Oh my God NO! Absolutely not! I guarantee you that everyone. EVERYONE. has something that they really suck at.We're all different. We all have things we rock at and things we suck at.
But nobody is going to let on about what they suck at.
I have a whole list of mommy clients that will agree with you that they can't keep up either. That's why we spend time reducing the clutter and creating systems to make it work easier.
From a young age, we're programmed to think we can do and have it all. Next comes the internet where we're bombarded with information 24/7 about being able to do and have it all. Add in Martha Stewart, telling you that doing and having it all is "a good thing."
Yeah...she has a full staff of minions to help her do it all. And you KNOW she's hiding what she sucks at.
You can't. I can't. There's only so much time in the day. So here's what you do:
- Determine what you're good at and what you suck at.
- Find ways to mitigate the suckage.
- Reduce clutter - usually a case of not wanting to make decisions and being overwhelmed. Prep your brain to make decisions, pick a spot, set a timer and hit it.
- Create systems that will make every-day tasks easier. Laundry is a bear? How can we make that easier and more streamlined? Bills getting behind? Create a space where only bills and bill-paying necessities go. Set an appointment with yourself weekly or bi-weekly to pay the bills. Child's toys are out of control? Set a space and limits to how much you will allow children's toys to be in the adult rooms. They don't need every single gadget and toy out there. As they grow, send old things out when new ones come in. It's good to set limits while they're still young. They need you for guidance and discipline. Otherwise, you can easily get stuck with a 5-year-old calling the shots (I've seen it and it ain't pretty.) and your home looking like romper room until they hit college.
And nobody wants that.
Most importantly, know you are not alone. Every single parent out there has those moments that they feel overwhelmed, overrun, and under water. In those moments, take a minute to step back and breathe. If the child is well fed, has clothes on their back, a roof over their head and are loved, you are doing something right.
It reminds me of a scene from Sex and the City where Miranda says, "Look, we're both afraid we're going to kill the baby. That's a given. But we've made an agreement this week. Monday to Friday, I try not to kill him. Saturday and Sunday, you try not to kill him."
If you didn't kill the baby, then today is a win. And you get to try again tomorrow.
(To get on top of things...not kill the baby. Don't kill the baby.)
Do you have a burning question? Perhaps just a simmering one? Send it to email@example.com.